The following was directly copied from Mark Driscoll’s blog at Resurgence. I highly recommend that you look there to read his thoughts on ministry and many other topics, but for accessibility I’ve compiled his posts entitled Death by Ministry. Be warned that it is very long, but there are a few wonderful points:
1. How do successful leaders manage their lives?
- From 1978 to 1984, Bill Gates took only 6 days off.
- Carlos Ghosn (CEO of Renault and Nissan) has an assistant screen all emails and documents, will not allow a meeting to exceed 90 minutes, splits meeting time into half presentation and half discussion, and has to have at least 6 hours of sleep and his weekends off.
- Marissa Mayer (VP at Google) gets 700 to 800 emails a day, sometimes spends 14 hours straight on Saturdays and Sundays catching up on email, and has learned to live on 4–6 hours of sleep a night.
- Howard Schultz (Chairman of Starbucks) rises between 5 and 5:30 a.m. and prefers face-to-face meetings and phone appointments over emails.
- Bill Gross (Chief Investment Officer of Pimco) gets up around 4:30 a.m., arrives at the office around 6 a.m., refuses to look at any emails he does not want to, only answers the phone 3–4 times a day, does not have a cell phone, does not have a BlackBerry, is intentionally disconnected with the exception of his wife, and works out for an hour and a half every day.
- A. G. Lafley (Chairman, President, and CEO of Proctor & Gamble) takes a 5–15 minute walking break every hour or hour and a half to refresh, eats 5–6 smaller meals a day to manage his glycemic levels, prefers conversations to emails, works some on weekends, focuses on developing leaders, and spends time each day meditating.
- Amy W. Schulman (Partner of DLA Piper) has one assistant from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. and a second from 4 p.m. to midnight, wakes up between 5 a.m. and 6 a.m., arrives at the office around 8 a.m., gets home around 7:30 p.m., is online doing her 600 daily emails until midnight, has two cell phones from two carriers to ensure constant coverage, and tries to turn off her cell phone and BlackBerry during meals and in movie theaters.
- John McCain (U.S. Senator from Arizona) reads emails but does not write any because he is a “Neanderthal” who cannot type and barely knows how to visit a website, has no laptop or Palm Pilot, keeps his daily schedule in his pocket on a note card, and leans heavily on his Chief of Staff who has been with him for 17 years.
- Jane Friedman (CEO of HarperCollins) is “an email addict” who checks her email virtually every waking moment via computer or BlackBerry and personally reads every single email that anyone sends to her.
- Judge Richard Posner (U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit, Chicago) has few phone conversations and relies almost entirely on emails, returns emails on a laptop rather than a BlackBerry, gets up before 8 a.m., arrives at work before 10 a.m., returns home after lunch and works until 11:30 p.m. from home.
- Henry “Hank” Paulson (Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs) never uses email, but spends the day on the phone leaving and personally responding to a few hundred voicemails without any screening, works out five times a week, and sleeps nearly eight hours a night.
- Brett Yormark (CEO Nets Basketball) wakes up around 3:30 a.m., is in the office by 4 a.m. on weekdays and 7 a.m. on weekends, and often works until midnight.
2. How healthy are pastors and their families?
At our 2006 Reform and Resurge Conference in Seattle, my good friend Pastor Darrin Patrick from The Journey in Saint Louis (www.journeyon.net) spoke frankly of the burden that pastoral ministry is. He presented the following statistics, which he gathered from such organizations as Barna (www.barna.org), Maranatha Life (www.maranathalife.com) and Focus on the Family (www.family.org).
Pastors
- Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.
- Fifty percent of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.
- Eighty percent of pastors and eighty-four percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.
- Fifty percent of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.
- Eighty percent of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.
- Seventy percent of pastors constantly fight depression.
- Almost forty percent polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.
- Seventy percent said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons.
Pastors’ Wives
- Eighty percent of pastors’ spouses feel their spouse is overworked.
- Eighty percent of pastors’ spouses wish their spouse would choose another profession.
- The majority of pastors’ wives surveyed said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry.
3. What causes stress?
Stress is the natural, God-created, bodily response to external stimuli. Therefore, stress is, in and of itself, good and necessary. But the body was simply not made for the world in which we live. Our world can cause Perpetual Stress Response Syndrome, which is essentially the body’s inability to “turn off” because of chronic stress from such things as:
- Constant noise
- Traffic
- Fractured family systems
- Disconnection from creation
- Disconnection from history
- Disconnection from meaningful community
- Financial pains
- Electricity and the 24-hour lifestyle
- Constant interruption by technology such as phones and BlackBerries
- The average worker is interrupted once every 11 minutes and it takes 25 minutes to refocus on their task.
- Overwork, marked by the average workweek growing from 40 to 50 hours in the U.S. in the past 25 years. We work more hours than any nation other than Japan, which works an equal number of hours.
- Salaried and temp positions that provide no job security
- Success, which sometimes causes even more stress than failure
- Advertising (which tells you to feel good) and direct marketing of pills to fix you (which makes you aware of all that may be wrong with you)
4. What are the sources of greatest stress?
- Marriage
- Troubles with boss
- Detention in jail or other institution
- Death of spouse
- Major change in sleeping habits
- Death of a close family member
- Major change in eating habits (amount of food or change in meal hours)
- Foreclosure on a loan
- Revision of personal habits (dress, manners, associations, etc.)
- Death of a close friend
- Minor violation of the law
- Outstanding personal achievement
- Pregnancy
- Major change in the health of a family member
- Sexual difficulties
- In-law troubles
- Major change in number of family get-togethers
- Major change in financial status
- Gaining a new family member
- Change in residence
- Child leaving home
- Marital separation
- Major change in church activities
- Marital reconciliation
- Being fired from work
- Divorce
- Changing to a different line of work
- Major change in the number of arguments with spouse
- Major change in responsibilities at work
- Wife beginning or ceasing work outside the home
- Major change in working hours or conditions
- Major change in usual type or amount of recreation
- Taking on a mortgage
- Taking on other major loans
- Major personal injury or illness
- Major business readjustment
- Major change in social activities
- Major change in living conditions
- Retirement from work
- Vacation
- Christmas
- Changing to a new school
- Beginning or ceasing formal schooling
5. How does the body respond to stress?
The body responds to stress with a fight-or-flight response of shutting down or rising up. In the flight response we are prone to take on a victim identity in which we blame others and believe that the world is against us. In the fight response our nervous and endocrine systems respond as if we were under the threat of possible death. The body cannot distinguish between modern stress and life-threatening danger; it responds to both in the following ways:
- The brain signals the release of hypothalamic, pituitary, and adrenal hormones.
- The adrenal glands release cortisol and adrenaline.
- The sympathetic nervous system releases norepinephrine all over the body.
- Hair stands up, the heart races, we sweat, the stomach churns, and the bowels loosen.
- Our blood thickens in defense of injury and our blood pressure elevates.
- Endorphins are released to dull pain.
- Glucose is released for quick energy.
- Adrenaline, which is released in seconds, is moderated by cortisol, which takes hours to bring us back to a normal state.
- Our vision is clear, our attention is focused, our memory is aware, and we feel alert and powerful or simply “on.”
6. What are the twelve steps to burnout?
Psychologist Herbert Freudenberger and his colleague Gail North have divided the path to burnout into twelve steps. These steps do not necessarily follow one another in order. Some people skip some steps, go through several at the same time, or experience them in various orders.
- A compulsion to prove oneself (commitment to win no matter what)
- Working harder (feeling irreplaceable they buckle down, raise personal expectations, and take on more and more responsibility)
- Neglecting their needs (eating, sleeping, playing are sacrificed for performance)
- Displacement of conflicts (something is wrong but I’m unsure what)
- Revision of values (friends, hobbies, and fun are dismissed)
- Denial of emerging problems (cynism, anger, and despising of others for being stupid, lazy, demanding, and undisciplined)
- Withdrawal (socially withdrawn, loss of hope and direction, pursuit of sinful relief such as drugs, sex, or alcohol)
- Obvious behavior changes (shy, apathetic, depressed, haggard)
- Depersonalization (lose contact with self, life becomes meaningless and mechanical)
- Inner emptiness (often overcompensated for with oversexing, overeating, drug and alcohol abuse in place of leisure time)
- Depression (indifferent, hopeless, exhausted, life loses meaning and everything from agitation to apathy sets in)
- Burnout (suicidal thoughts and/or obsession with heaven, physical and mental collapse, need for medical help)
7. What are the signs of possible burnout?
The following are indicators that ministry leaders are heading toward burnout, if not already there. Sadly, we too often become so focused on our tasks and responsibilities that we fail to see these warning signs until it is too late.
- Unusual mood swings that may include weeping without just cause, anger, or depression
- Exhaustion
- Nervous twitch
- Fragmentation
- Disassociation or checking out
- Canker sores
- Paranoia and suspicion
- Weight change, including gain or loss
- Moments of panic and feeling totally overwhelmed
- Fantasizing about dying or running away to get away from the pressure
- Fight-or-flight cycles where you rise up to intimidate and conquer others or run away from difficulties just to avoid them
- Insomnia, including difficulty falling asleep or remaining asleep, which can lead to a reliance on sleeping pills
- Too frequent use of alcohol or tobacco
- High blood pressure
- Comforting yourself with unhealthy foods packed with fat, sugar, and simple carbohydrates
- General irritability
- Reckless driving
- Change in sexual desire of either noticeable increase or decrease
- Notable ongoing sexual temptation
- Health-related issues such as irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, heart trouble, chronic sickness, and stomach problems including ulcers
- A victim mentality that sees the world as against you and everyone as an enemy to varying degrees
- Shopping sprees and unnecessary financial spending
- Reliance on caffeine to self-medicate
- Children, friends, and loved ones begin to feel like yet another burden
8. What margins help to prevent burnout?
When we push our bodies, schedules, minds, and budgets to the point where there is no margin, all that it takes to destroy us is one unforeseen expense, one small emergency, or one small cold. Therefore, leaving margin is the key to not being crushed when life does not go according to plan. This means leaving extra money in the bank, leaving extra time between appointments, and preparing to arrive at places early so that if there is traffic you will still be on time and not stressed. There are four basic areas where margin is essential and to wisely steward those areas we must ask what fills these buckets:
- Emotional Energy
- What fills this bucket?
- What empties this bucket?
- Physical Energy
- What fills this bucket?
- What empties this bucket?
- Time
- What fills this bucket?
- What empties this bucket?
- Finances
- What fills this bucket?
- What empties this bucket?
Which of these buckets fills up most quickly for you? Which bucket fills up most slowly for you? Which bucket empties most quickly for you? Which bucket empties most slowly for you? What can you do to count the cost in each of these areas before you make a decision?
9. How can I better organize my life to reduce stress?
- Accept the size of your plate and fill it.
- Exercise.
- Do not allow technology to be your Lord.
- Have two cell phones.
- Have two email accounts.
- Have someone schedule appointments and screen all email.
- Consider getting rid of your voicemail.
- Delete emails quickly.
- Have an assistant send you a daily items email.
- Use an out-of-office autoreply as needed.
- Sabbath hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annually.
- Schedule your vacations first and block them out on your calendar.
- Pick an acceptable release valve.
- Appoint someone other than your wife as your lightning rod.
- Spend most of your time training leaders.
- Pay attention to what God is saying through your body and emotions.
- Feel your emotions but do not allow them to drive you in a bad direction.
- Do not worry yourself into a frenzy.
- Work from conviction, not guilt.
- Get a coach or a counselor.
- Have a study and an office.
- Schedule meetings rarely.
- Say no, and keep saying no.
- Get a wedding coordinator.
- Carry a notebook at all times to jot thoughts and notes.
- See your days as buckets to fill.
- Consider regular medical massage.
10. What can be done to help the pastors’ wife?
- She needs a clearly defined and guarded role.
- She needs some help with the kids and house.
- She needs some help getting to and from church on Sundays.
- She needs a designated parking place.
- She needs a handful of safe relationships with other godly women.
- She needs to choose her own friends and define her own relationships.
- She needs to see her first jobs as Christian, wife, and mother, not free hire for the church.
11. In what ways should a pastor view their ministry?
- Ministry is your fourth priority after being a Christian, husband, and father.
- Ministry is your job, not your life.
- God rewards faithfulness, not just fruitfulness.
- Your salvation and righteousness are gifts from Jesus and not contingent upon your performance.
- If you do not Sabbath, God will impose a Sabbath upon you.
- A series of sprints, with nine natural breaks out of the pulpit, rather than a marathon.
- First Sunday of the Year (January)
- Daylight Savings Day (March)
- Mother’s Day (May)
- Memorial Day (May)
- Father’s Day (June)
- Fourth of July (July)
- Labor Day Weekend (September)
- Thanksgiving (November)
- Week after Christmas (December)
- Jesus is the Senior Pastor and the church is His
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